What He Wants by Aaron Kate

Author:Aaron, Kate [Aaron, Kate]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Croft House
Published: 2013-11-13T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Christo woke, instantly alert. He lay still in the darkened room, listening. Silence bore down on him oppressively. Stretching his arm out, he felt the cold, empty sheets beside him. Shit. Cursing quietly at himself, he swung his legs off the bed and groped on the floor for his underwear. Drawing his pants on he padded stealthily out of the bedroom.

The soft grey of predawn filtered through the uncovered picture window of the lounge, spilling out into the hall, providing just enough light for him to pick his way down the corridor. A dark shape curled on the sofa like an undeveloped negative. The silvery glow of the quarter moon highlighted the soft waves of Damien’s hair; the reflective edge of a large book.

Christo slid onto the sofa opposite him, their feet touching. Damien looked up from the book, his fingers continuing to stroke the page.

“Why aren’t you in bed?”

Damien shrugged. “I woke up. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“What’s wrong?” Christo nodded at the book in the other man’s hands. “What is that?”

Damien’s eyes dropped to his lap. “I want to tell you something.”

“You can tell me anything you want.”

Damien looked up, troubled lines blurring the edges of his eyes, obsidian in the darkness. “It was my fault my parents died.”

“What?” Christo sat bolt upright, staring at him.

“I was arguing with my sister, we were having this big fight. I can’t even remember what over.” He looked away, worrying at his bottom lip. “Mum must have told us a dozen times to shut up. It was late, raining, the road was bad… Eventually my dad snapped, he turned around to slap our legs and then we crashed.” He sniffed loudly. “I’ve never told anyone that. I always said I couldn’t remember what happened. I’ve got to live with that every day for the rest of my life.”

“Jesus, Damien.” Christo exhaled slowly.

“I know.” Damien curled his body away from him.

“No, hey, hey!” Christo reached out and forced Damien to face him. “You were what, ten years old? It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes it was. Don’t lie to me Christo, don’t tell me what you think I need to hear. I was there. I remember. I didn’t tell you so you could try and make me feel better with some psychotherapy bullshit, I told you because, because…I don’t know, because it felt like I could.”

“You can,” Christo promised. “You can tell me anything.”

Damien’s face cracked. “I just wish…I wish…”

“Don’t do this to yourself,” Christo told him sharply.

“How can I not? It was my fault.”

“You were ten years old.”

“That doesn’t absolve me of anything.”

“Do you honestly think your family would want you to punish yourself like this? Do you think they’d be happy if they could see you now?”

“I don’t know.” Barely a whisper, voice wavering. “Don’t you see Christo, I don’t know. I was too young to remember them properly. I didn’t know them as people, they were just my parents. I don’t know how they’d think or feel about anything, that’s what tears me apart.

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